What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.