In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.