A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.