What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Witch you were here.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!