How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Live to tell the tail.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!