Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!