What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!