What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Come witch me to the party.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.