Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.