Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"