Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.