Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.