It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.