It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.