Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.