I had a colonoscopy yesterday and I think the doctor must have got carried away.
I said to him, "Can you back that up a little, it's irritating my tonsils."
Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious,
shove a foreign object up my butt and film the whole thing!
Or as my doctor insists on calling it... a colonoscopy
A proctologist is about to write a something on his patient's notes but when he goes to take his pen out of his pocket he realizes it's actually his thermometer that's there.
He says, "Darn, some a**hole has my pen."
I had a colonoscopy recently and believe it or not getting the camera up there doesn't hurt as much as you might think.
It's the crew that's the killer.
I have inner beauty.
And I have the video from my colonoscopy to prove it.
What should the real name for a colonoscopy be?
A colonoscopoo.
What's the difference between a colonoscopy and an endoscopy?
The taste.
That new vet really screwed up my pig's colonoscopy
He's pretty ham-fisted
I only lost 2 pounds while taking laxatives for a colonoscopy.
I guess I'm not as full of crap as I thought.
I just got my colonoscopy results:
The doctor gave me two thumbs up!
What do you call an Irish proctologist?
Colin O'Scopy.
"Your Colonoscopy went well, I understand." Said Sherlock to Watson.
"No s**t, Sherlock."
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head.
"Straight ahead for a bit then there's a sharp left, so take it slowly." I said.
"The screen is for MY benefit, Mr. Anderson," said the doctor, "and this isn't my first colonoscopy."
Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic?
He does 18 holes a day.
Had a colonoscopy the other day,
Worst dentist appointment I've ever had.
My father had a colonoscopy.
Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill.
Now I’m in arrears.
The doctor told me he found something alarming in my colonoscopy.
Turns out it was a clock.
Someone I know gave a really deep speech to convince me to go for a colonoscopy
What else can I say?
Something touched me deep inside.
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