Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?
No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
Do you have a library card?
So you can check me out?
No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals.
Are you a computer technician?
Because you turn my hardware into software.
Are you bad WiFi?
Because I'm feeling no connection here.
Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won't do it.
Are you a fire detector?
Because you're loud and annoying.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
I'd like to get you wet. At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
Camel called.
He wants his toe back.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.