Works Jokes

What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
They say marriage is like a workshop. Where the man works and the women shops.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

- Milton Berle.
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
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