Were Jokes

Darling, if you were cocaine I’d OVERDOSE!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call ‘FINE PRINT’!
Were you a member of the Boy Scouts? You’ve tangled up my heart.
Were you forged in the fires of Mount Doom? Because you're precious to me.
"Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."
— William Goldman, The Princess Bride
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
If you were coffee grounds, you’d be espresso ’cause you’re so fine.
If you were a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers, I would take you home.
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Whoever said that chunky-knit sweater coats were ugly is both a fool and a liar.
You're such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.
If you were a jack-o'-lantern, I'd totally light your candle.
If you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
Hey girl, if you were a turkey you'd only need minimal basting because you're already so juicy.
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