Were Jokes

You're such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.
If you were a jack-o'-lantern, I'd totally light your candle.
Hey girl, if you were a turkey you'd only need minimal basting because you're already so juicy.
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
If you were coffee grounds, you’d be espresso ’cause you’re so fine.
If you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
Darling, if you were cocaine I’d OVERDOSE!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call ‘FINE PRINT’!
If you were a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers, I would take you home.
"Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."
— William Goldman, The Princess Bride
Were you a member of the Boy Scouts? You’ve tangled up my heart.
Were you forged in the fires of Mount Doom? Because you're precious to me.
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Whoever said that chunky-knit sweater coats were ugly is both a fool and a liar.
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