Very Jokes

I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Baby, I'm like efavirenz. I can decrease your odds of nightmares, but you still may have strong vivid dreams about me — a very common side effect.
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
I think I might become an astronomer because I’m very fascinated with Uranus
That shirt looks very becoming on you
Then again if I was on you, I'd be coming too.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
I’m very frond of you.
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.“
— Oscar Wilde
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
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