Vampire Jokes

I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
I heard there is a vampire on the loose, you better stay with me.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
"Are you a witch because you sure got me spellbound."
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy