Usually Jokes

"The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less." ~ Brendan Behan
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
Can you hold my gloves for me? I usually wear them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”

- Leo Burke.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
My ex-husband was very responsible. If anything went wrong, he was usually responsible for it.
It’s your birthday, there is no cure,
Cakes and candles, you must endure,
Quick and painless, let me assure,
A tiny chance, you will be mature,
With this crowd, usually secure,
Random fun, with results obscure,
Liquids we drink, definitely pure,
Goofy friends, minds we tour,
Hilarious birthday, that’s for sure.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy