Usually Jokes

Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
My ex-husband was very responsible. If anything went wrong, he was usually responsible for it.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
A mixture of black, white, and red usually refers to a panda who has experienced severe sunburn!
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”

- Leo Burke.
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Can you hold my gloves for me? I usually wear them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
It’s your birthday, there is no cure,
Cakes and candles, you must endure,
Quick and painless, let me assure,
A tiny chance, you will be mature,
With this crowd, usually secure,
Random fun, with results obscure,
Liquids we drink, definitely pure,
Goofy friends, minds we tour,
Hilarious birthday, that’s for sure.

(Martin Dejnicki)
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