Jokes > Tags > Use


What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
Will Ferrell
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”
Joe Girard
“My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.”
Jimmy Carter
What do Ents wear to the beach?
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
I got in touch with my inner self today...That's the a last time I use 1-ply toilet paper