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Tried

Heart Puns
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
Toucan Puns
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
One Liners and Short Jokes
My girlfriend tried to make me have se* on the hood of her Honda Civic…
But I refused. If I’m going to have se*, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Ocean Puns
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Doctor Puns
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
Medical Puns
“I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.”
Quotes
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
Bill Watterson
Football Puns
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Puns
Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape."
Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed."

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
Train Puns
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Worm Puns
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Hand Puns
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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