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Towards Jokes

Medical Puns
As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"
"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"
Beaver Puns
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
Soccer Puns
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Arm Puns
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
Cat Puns
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Stove Puns
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s.
River Puns
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Frankenstein Puns
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Garden Quotes
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
- Rita Rudner
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