Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."

Pizza Puns

How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.

One Liners and Short Jokes

I went to a cafe for breakfast the other day and ordered eggs.
The woman behind the counter asked me, "How would you like your eggs cooked."
I said, "Does it affect the price?"
"No, not at all." she replied.
I said, "In that case I'd like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please."

Salad Puns

Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!

Quotes

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
Miles Kington

Kitchen Puns

If you missed essential tomato cooking class
You can’t ketchup.

Ketchup Puns

Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."

Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.

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