Tomato Jokes

What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
Miles Kington
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
I went to a cafe for breakfast the other day and ordered eggs.
The woman behind the counter asked me, "How would you like your eggs cooked."
I said, "Does it affect the price?"
"No, not at all." she replied.
I said, "In that case I'd like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please."
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
If you missed essential tomato cooking class
You can’t ketchup.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
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