Those Jokes

“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
Are you a baker? ‘Cause those buns look TASTY.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
“Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental facility.”
— Unknown
Those aren't sugar plums dancing through my head, it's all you.
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
Did you get those pants on sale? (Why?) Because at my house they would be 100% off!
Are those Guess jeans? Because guess who wants to get into them.
I've never understood the fashion industry, those people are so clothes-minded.
Girl, you should not have covered your beautiful eyes behind those Versace sunglasses.
"We gotta get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini."
- Jay Chandrasekhar, Beerfest (2006)
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
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