Those

My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
Those who study the moon for their course or as a habit, are optimists. And that is because they look at the brighter side always.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
If a meteorite perfectly hits a planet, what do we call those ones which miss? Meteowrongs.
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.