Them Jokes

Your clothes look so uncomfortable. Why don’t you let me help you take them off?
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
Charles Dickens might have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Are those Guess jeans? Because guess who wants to get into them.
“Never let your friends be lonely…. Disturb them all the time.”
— Unknown
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
I think there’s something wrong with my eye. I can’t take them off of you.
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
I know the difference between "less" and "fewer," but don't worry, you won't have to ask me for either of them.
Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
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