Jokes > Tags > Takes Jokes

Takes Jokes

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
My dog is quite hip.
Except when he takes a dip.
He looks like a fool,
when he jumps in the pool,
and reminds me of a sinking ship.
Funny Money Quotes
โ€œWhat is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skinโ€ โ€“Mark Twain
Gnome Puns
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Funny Aging Quotes
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
Orange Puns
Why couldnโ€™t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to โ€œtang-o.โ€
What is the healthiest fruit?
โ€œAn orange. It takes Vitamin See!โ€
Funny Work Quotes
โ€œIt takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.โ€ โ€” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Pig Puns
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Giant Puns
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...thatโ€™s a moray.
Tableware Puns
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
Yard Puns
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?
It really takes the hedge off!
Pot Puns
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all.
I was watching a new cooking show where you only get to pick one pan to use the whole timeโ€ฆ
It's called, "Do You Have The Skillet Takes?!"
Garden Quotes
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while youโ€™re waiting, pull a weed.
โ€” Emilie Barnes
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy
Contact us | Help | About us | Terms | Privacy policy | Categories | Archive | Collections