Wanna partner up so we can test the spring potential of my bed mattress?
They said I was an "old fart"
But I hardly think that's true
My boobs were done in '75
But my teeth and knees are new.

And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50k
And hate to drive at night.

All in all I object to "old"
But "fart" is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I've got fatter.

To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.

So if you're feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!

(By Pamela J. Langdon)
There was a young fellow named Hall,
who died in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a bad thing,
had he died in the spring,
but he didn't — he died in the fall.
I'm really determined and keen,
To start giving this house a spring clean.
I will do it I say,
Yes, I'll do it today,
Well, I'll do it tomorrow, I mean.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?

Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training