Speaking Jokes

What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me (speaking slowly): "No, not space.. Car go ROAD."
Manager: " Can I see you in my office?"
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
My friend said, "You are so tall that even Shaq is a dwarf to you". So I replied, "The shrimp who is speaking right".
The Prince's Curse A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”
Want to practice speaking in tongues with me?
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's out of business. And, speaking of Hershey's, how about a kiss?
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?!
Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy