Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”.

“No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
Someone just stole some grass from my garden.
Strange I know, thought robbers stuck to their own turf.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Give me some pigskin
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."

People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.

A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...
I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."