Several

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot has been spotted several times.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
A man goes to his male doctor after several tests and tells him, "Give it to me straight doc!"
The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male."
They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS."
Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. Deal?
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
Grandmother is making the dressing, and is adding several cans of Chicken Broth.

Dad: "You know where you can get that broth in bulk?"

Grandmother: "Where?"

Dad: "The stock market."

He was promptly kicked out of the kitchen.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months.
They had a great piss-cal year.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
The Engineer, Physicist, & Mathematician
The Engineer, Physicist, & Mathematician An engineer, physicist, and mathematician have been imprisoned. At some point, the warden realizes that the three men haven't been fed in a while. He accompanies an officer to check up on them. The warden and officer arrive at the first cell that contained the engineer. To their astonishment, the cell was empty and the wall had a hole in it. "How is that possible?" said the officer. "That wall was solid concrete!" The warden quietly inspected the cell. After a few minutes, he exited and said, "He seems to have built a pick out of the eating utensils we gave him and used it to make the hole." The warden and officer continued to the next cell that contained the physicist. However, he too was gone and once again there was a hole in the wall. And of course, the warden inspected the cell and returned after a few minutes. The warden declared, "According to the papers on his bed, he very carefully calculated the weakest point on the wall and repeatedly hit it with a rock until it broke open." Finally, they arrived at the last cell that contained the mathematician. Unfortunately, he lay dead on the cell floor from starvation. The officer sighed. "After the other two, I would have expected he would have also escaped. He also has some papers on his bed." The warden entered the cell and picked up the papers. Then he shook his head and chuckled. "It appears," the warden said, "that he spent several days writing a very detailed proof that it was possible to break the wall."
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
A man visits a televangelist and asks him to help him with his hearing. The televangelist grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and forth for several minutes, screaming and shouting. After the violent gesture ends the televangelist looks at him and says, “How is your hearing?”

The man replies, “I don’t know yet. It’s not until next Monday at 12:00.”
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy