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Seems Jokes

Friendship Quotes
“Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I’m having problems you are always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you are always there. Let’s face it. You are bad luck.”
— Unknown
Knight Puns
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Funny Birthday Poems
Everyone is jealous of us
We make an awesome couple
Life with you seems perfect
Forever, I want to be in this bubble
Today I want to preach
Just one simply philosophy
That a handsome guy like you
Deserves a pretty girl like me
Happy birthday!
Here they come, with birthday cheer,
Bringing gifts just once a year,
People you don't even like;
You really wish they'd take a hike.

This should be a glad occasion;
But it seems more like a SWAT invasion.
Go away! Just take a break!
Oh well, at least there's birthday cake.

(Joanna Fuchs)
Funny Aging Quotes
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
Keyboard Puns
V
V

Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Funny Health Quotes
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
Utensils Puns
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Pot Puns
"Can you help me get this pots and pans drawer in order? Something seems stuck here", My wife said one morning.
To which I said, "Sure honey, I hope this pans out"
Apology Pick Up Lines
Sorry for not saying 'Bless You', it already seems that you are.
Orange Puns
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Hmm, there seems to be a kiss of mint in this blend. How about a real kiss, just to be sure?
Funny Marriage Quotes
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
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