Rather Jokes

I'm doing yoga tonight but I rather be doing you.
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

(Gelett Burgess)
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What are you doing this saturday? I've got a football match, but I'd rather score with you
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
I like milk and cookies but I would rather have you.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
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