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Rather

Dirty Limericks
There once was maid name of Olga,
whoes resume read rather vulga
the things she could do,
from basement to flue,
without ever letting go of ya
Brain Puns
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
The Risks of Anal
The Risks of Anal A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal se*, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea  'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.  'Actually, yes, I do.'  'Does it hurt you?' he asked.  'No. I rather like it.'  'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal se*, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'  The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal se*?'  'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from?"
Valentines Day Puns
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
Rejection Pick Up Lines
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’d rather be dead
Than stuck with you!
Bacon Puns
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Roses are Red Violets are Blue Jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’d rather be single,
Than with someone like you
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
I would flirt with you, but I'd rather seduce you with my awkwardness From a distance.
Heart Puns
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Jokes For Women
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Quotes
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.“
Mark Twain
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
Funny Limericks
A young gourmet dining at Crewe,
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, Don't shout,
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too.
A young schoolgirl named Rose,
Is rather ashamed of her nose.
She distracts people's stares,
With the mice that she wears,
Hanging down from her clothes.
Otter Puns
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
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