Rather Jokes

I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
I like milk and cookies but I would rather have you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
I’d rather have you butter my biscuits.
The Risks of Anal A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal se*, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea  'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.  'Actually, yes, I do.'  'Does it hurt you?' he asked.  'No. I rather like it.'  'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice butt se*, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'  The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal se*?'  'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from?"
What are you doing this saturday? I've got a football match, but I'd rather score with you
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
I'm doing yoga tonight but I rather be doing you.
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

(Gelett Burgess)
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
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