Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
The opposite of isolate is...
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
What’s the opposite of Easter?
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“URINE: opposite of ‘you’re out.'”
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What’s the opposite of coffee?
What's the opposite of urine?
I'm out.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Tiny Chihuahua,
Humongous Great Dane.
The difference between them
Is really quite plain.
Feisty Chihuahua
Will yap-yap and yip.
If he doesn't like you,
You may get a nip!
Gentle Great Dane
Has a powerful bite,
But never would nip you.
She's much too polite.
Great Dane finds the carpet
A fine place to nap.
Chihuahua loves curling
Right up in your lap.
Their owners would have
Some cause for dismay
If each dog behaved
In the opposite way!

(Kristin Frederick)
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