Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of urine?
I'm out.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
โ€œMoney is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.โ€ โ€“ Rebecca Johnson
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Whatโ€™s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
Whatโ€™s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Tiny Chihuahua,
Humongous Great Dane.
The difference between them
Is really quite plain.
Feisty Chihuahua
Will yap-yap and yip.
If he doesn't like you,
You may get a nip!
Gentle Great Dane
Has a powerful bite,
But never would nip you.
She's much too polite.
Great Dane finds the carpet
A fine place to nap.
Chihuahua loves curling
Right up in your lap.
Their owners would have
Some cause for dismay
If each dog behaved
In the opposite way!

(Kristin Frederick)
โ€œURINE: opposite of โ€˜youโ€™re out.'โ€
Whatโ€™s the opposite of Easter?
Wester
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
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