Opening Jokes

I'm opening up an old folk's home in Tijuana.
SeƱor Citizens.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Here's to a big opening weekend.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life.
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
Are you the opening night? Because you make me nervous.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Do you know what they say about hockey players? They can always find the opening!
ā€œI admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so thereā€™s plenty of blame to go around.ā€

- John Lyon.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
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