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Opened Jokes

Electricity Puns
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same timeโ€ฆ I was shocked.โ€
Flower Pick Up Lines
Flowers like our minds, open at the right time. Mine has opened to receive your love.
Cherry Puns
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
One Liners and Short Jokes
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."
Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
Pig Puns
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it โ€œHam Hocksโ€
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it โ€œHam Hocksโ€.
Shower Puns
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know itโ€™s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
Onion Puns
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Mother Puns
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, โ€œItโ€™s not working. I canโ€™t take it any more. Iโ€™m going to my momโ€™s.โ€
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
Fridge Puns
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Mall Pick Up Lines
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
Kitchen Puns
As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head.
It's awful to see someone you love get mugged.
Sink Puns
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
Crow Puns
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
Cosmetics Puns
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
Itโ€™s a real gallery of the fine warts.
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