Opened Jokes

I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head.
It's awful to see someone you love get mugged.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
What did the man with no hands get for his christmas gift?
Gloves.

Just Joking. He still hasn't opened the gift.
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Flowers like our minds, open at the right time. Mine has opened to receive your love.
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."
Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
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