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Opened Jokes

Fridge Puns
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Mother Puns
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
Mall Pick Up Lines
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
One Liners and Short Jokes
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."
Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
Flower Pick Up Lines
Flowers like our minds, open at the right time. Mine has opened to receive your love.
Electricity Puns
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Crow Puns
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
Onion Puns
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Sink Puns
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
Cherry Puns
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Pig Puns
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Cosmetics Puns
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
Kitchen Puns
As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head.
It's awful to see someone you love get mugged.
Shower Puns
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
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