My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop. Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?" He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.” I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working." Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.