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Nine Jokes

Computer Jokes
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.
Basketball Puns
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Football Puns
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
The goal nine yards
Frog Puns
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
One Liners for Kids
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."
"Yea but that would make no sense." replied the dog.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
One Liners and Short Jokes
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
"Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."
Jokes For Women
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
Funny Work Quotes
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
Math Puns
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Elf Puns
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Cat Puns
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
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