Needed Jokes

Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I was talking to my Mom the other day and she mentioned that none of her sisters needed the vaccine.
Turned out they already had the auntybodies.
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
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