Miss Jokes

Girl, want to watch me play? I never miss the target.
If you were a puck, I'd never shoot. Because I would always miss you.
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Are you the moon? 'Cause you're beautiful every night and I miss you every day
Wow, you feel like a comet, you are a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’m glad I didn’t miss it. Can I buy you a drink?
You can count on the stars, but you can’t ever count on how much I miss you.
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Close your eyes and I will kiss you. Tomorrow I will miss you.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
You don't need reflective gear, darling. Who could ever miss you?
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
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