Metal

My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
A guy ate only metal bars for thanksgiving
He was gratefull
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Do you like heavy metal? Cause I can teach you how to scream.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Two metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
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