Mean

I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
My friend Jim told me today that I make people very uncomfortable and have no respect for personal space. I mean, what a thing to say to a friend.
It totally ruined our bath!
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”.

“No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
A robber walks into a bank and points the gun at the receptionist
"Give me all your money or you're Geography!" 'Don't you mean "or you're History"?'
"*DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"*
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I was in the hospital the other day and the nurse asked how I was doing; I told her I was fine until my bladder had to go and get infected.
I mean, the gall...
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Boyfriend: Just because you have your period doesn’t mean you can be so mean.
Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you can be one.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
I was watching a chess champion vs a boxing champion match.
The chess player had a mean right rook!
A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing but you actually mean your mother.
They say a Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you really mean your mother.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."