“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
No, they both burn shorter!
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
What's the difference between a man and a condom? Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce...
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a ‘V’ formation, one line is always longer than the other? That's because there are more geese in that line.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.

She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.

she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.

she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened to me.