Lettuce Jokes

A guy walks into the doctors office complaining of rectal pain, upon examination, the doctor exclaims "Buddy, theres a piece of lettuce coming out of your butt!"
The guy looks to the doctor and says "thats only the tip of the iceburg!"
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
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