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Least Jokes

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
When my cat sleeps, he snoozes
Inside the laundry basket,
Or on top of a tree,
Crammed inside a shelf,
Where no-one can see.
In empty shopping bags,
And cartons made of cardboard,
On piles of books and newspapers,
And suitcases that are stored.
Curled up under furniture,
In places we’d never think to look.
Or nestled behind a flower pot,
In a hard to find nook.
Since my cat sleeps for at least sixteen hours each day
He must be bored of sleeping in the same old way!

(Santhini Govindan)
Meat Puns
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Orange Puns
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Funny Money Quotes
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
Classic Pick Up Lines
You are astoundingly gorgeous, but I can tell that’s the least exciting thing about you. I’d love to know more.
Garden Puns
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
Literary Pick Up Lines
Baby, you're so hot it's got to be at least Fahrenheit 451 in here.
Food Poems
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
Funny Aging Quotes
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
Zombie Puns
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Funny Health Quotes
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
Funny Birthday Poems
Here they come, with birthday cheer,
Bringing gifts just once a year,
People you don't even like;
You really wish they'd take a hike.

This should be a glad occasion;
But it seems more like a SWAT invasion.
Go away! Just take a break!
Oh well, at least there's birthday cake.

(Joanna Fuchs)
Monster Puns
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Garden Quotes
"Real gardeners buy at least ten thousand plants in the course of a lifetime without having the least idea where they'll put any of them when they get home."
— Anonymous
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