Lately Jokes

Have you been to the doctor's lately? Cause I think you're lacking some vitamin me.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
Have you botany plants lately?
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Man: "I’ve had really bad gas lately." Doctor: D"on’t worry, it will pass."
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
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