Happened

What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.

She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.

she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.

she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened to me.
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Nurse: You can come by at 6 today. Very little patients today.

Man: What happened to the normal sized patients?
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.