Glass

"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"Back that glass up."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Taking the Wife to the Bar
Taking the Wife to the Bar An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose." she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "and you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
The glass eyeball manufacturer is having a promotion
An eye for an eye.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "Can I have a glass of H2O?" The second chemist says, "Can I have a glass of water, too?" The first chemist breaks down in tears — his assassination attempt has failed.
(He didn't say H2O2)
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
Little Johnny's Chemistry Class
Little Johnny's Chemistry Class Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"