Early Jokes

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and fertilize!”
— Anonymous
"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
Do you know why you need to get up early? Because you’re the sunshine.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
“I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.”

- Jim Gaffigan.
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