Dishes Jokes

My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
Are you a pile of soiled dishes? Because I want to spend the entire evening with you.
"I love when my kids tells me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time." – Unknown
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I'm Sneaky Bill, I'm terrible and mean and vicious,
I steal all the cashews
from the mixed-nut dishes.
I eat all the icing but I won't touch the cake,
And what you won't give me,
I'll go ahead and take.
I gobble up the cherries from everyone's drinks,
And whenever there are sausages
I grab a dozen links;
I take both drumsticks if
there's turkey or chicken,
And the biggest strawberries
are what I'm pickin';
I make sure I get the finest chop on the plate,
And I'll eat the portions of anyone's who's late.
I'm always on the spot before the dinner bell--
I guess I'm pretty awful
but
I
do
eat
well!

(William Cole)
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
I wanted to do the dishes and wasn’t sure where I put the dish soap.
Then it Dawned on me.
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