Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
Because it's super natural.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
After I won the game I decide to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV.
Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek. Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!" Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.