Cool Jokes

I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve got 3 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos in your basket. Marry me?
An oyster from Kalamazoo
Confessed he was feeling quite blue.
For he said, "As a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew."
Hey! Get lost wasp you are a pesky swine
This cherry ice cream is mine ALL mine

You buzz around and make my life hell
Look - this ice cream is for ME it tastes so swell

I need to cool down, gee here it’s really hot
So buzz off pesky wasp or you will swat

(Jan Allison)
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
"The pursuit of happiness" means it's cool to hit on you, right?
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
I have known you quite a while,
When you talk, you make me smile.
A special friend, I will probably keep,
If you buy me a cool jeep.

It’s your birthday, I nearly forgot,
Searched on-line, bought you squat.
Hope you don’t turn all bitter,
Since you’ve never been a quitter.

I nearly quit, writing this verse,
Mind is blank, it’s a curse,
Soon your party will be here,
If I wake up, I’ll surely appear.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Wow, you're so cool in this hot weather that my freezer is jealous of you.
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