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Close Jokes

Spouse Puns
After making love the other night, I told my husband that I love when the whispers sweet things in my ear...
So my hubby leaned in close and whispered... "Syrup."
Canadian Pick Up Lines
Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffeeโ€ฆSo I could get close to your lips.
Pea Puns
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Mushroom Puns
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Food Quotes
โ€œIโ€™m like Pacman when Iโ€™m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.โ€
โ€• Unknown
Meat Puns
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Funny Money Quotes
โ€œMoney isnโ€™t the most important thing in life, but itโ€™s reasonably close to oxygen on the โ€œgotta have itโ€ scale." ~Zig Ziglar
The Beatles Pick Up Lines
Close your eyes and I will kiss you. Tomorrow I will miss you.
Monster Puns
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Elvis Pick Up Lines
A little less fight and a little more spark, close your mouth and open your heart.
Yard Puns
I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard.
I don't know why, but they seem shady.
Funny Parenting Quotes
โ€œParenting Tip: If your child is crying, hold it close and whisper, 'You donโ€™t have a clue what horrors this world holds.'โ€

- Rob Delaney.
Mermaid Puns
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
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