Close Jokes

Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
A little less fight and a little more spark, close your mouth and open your heart.
Close your eyes and I will kiss you. Tomorrow I will miss you.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
“Parenting Tip: If your child is crying, hold it close and whisper, 'You don’t have a clue what horrors this world holds.'”

- Rob Delaney.
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
I heard short people hear what the ancestors are saying since they are so close to the ground.
Short people tend to get angry quickly because they are so close to the ground their anger does not dissipate quickly.
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard.
I don't know why, but they seem shady.
Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
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